I’m supposed to be blogging. I was supposed to blog yesterday, about yesterday, but how can I blog about yesterday? Yesterday can’t be isolated from everything else. From what has brought us to these mountains to the people, to the rocks, the hairpin turns, the ants and scorpions to these people, the roosters crowing, the goats and the bells, to these people, to the delicious water flowing from the mountain, to these people. To these humans. I am mute.
The day in short:
Walk to Megalo
Natalie Warm – up
Happy when working confused and lonely when not. Does anyone else feel this way?
At rehearsal we talked a lot. And I understood that we bring to the room everyone we know and have ever known. Those who are with us, and those who are not.
And that you can’t fit ten years into a week.
We went to the swimming hole.
We cleaned the house and I swept and washed the floor and it was easy. Clear. Mathematical. Concrete.
Everyday for the past week I have walked the same paths and everyday I see something different a different shape color texture. Like with the people I am with. I seek out masks slipping and the shapes becoming human. Depth emerging. The mountain at first static – now breathes. Nameless faces now breathing humanity.
In a week. With out internet, TV and telephone. I see these amazing people appreciate, learn about each other, appreciate each other and change. I am different.
I am the new kid in the classroom.
I didn’t realize how much of my time I spend alone.
Knowing how to be yourself in a group. Feeling when to speak – when to be silent – when to push forward and when to pull back.
I close my eyes and see images of yesterday’s Workshare Feast. I took some pictures but as most things here they are impossible to capture in a photo so I stopped. A procession led from Megalo to Mikro. Here are a few of them.
There are more images but I can’t describe them all – I stopped taking photos altogether because I selfishly wanted to experience the moments. They are imprinted in my mind and heart and with time I will be able to see them more clearly. Maybe. What do we need to make theater? A doer and a watcher. I’ve never done what the apprentice company did yesterday. Make a story in the mountains. From the mountains. There was joy, commitment, love and fearlessness.
I learned from the Workshare feast:
Embrace everything. And then give it away. Open the box the container to tell the story of my Pandora. Get dirty, roll in the stones and touch the untouchable, climb the unreachable, make friends with your fears and get exhausted – open your box that beats with everything that is you – spread your wings jump and fly close to the stars eat and dance – And when the rain comes and the clouds descend and the mountain is dark and hard and the stones slippery – use the hope buried in the box and turn it into faith and express truth.
In short yesterday I fell in love.